I recently started following a guy’s blog who I found to be interesting and intelligent. He writes from this seemingly unpretentious, uncontrived, and discerning voice. I’ll give the guy credit, he’s smart as fuck but I can’t stop gagging over his incessant need to expand his audience. He has an open forum question tab where juvenile girl groupies who feign eccentricity/alienation/smarts ask him the dumbest questions related to their puny middle American woes—to which the guy indulges in his trying-not-to-be-flattered tumblr guru pedestal voice. He has an obnoxiously contradictory presence. On one end, he claims to be this humble knowledge seeker, but on the other end, he shamelessly advertises his full name along with links that lead to a lengthy site disclaimer where he gives his reasoning for being online (it reads like a loner’s manifesto for the uncool cool club of unhappy adolescents that dominate the online because presenting an intellectual presence alongside flesh and blood people from the offline is too scary).
With all the above in mind, I started to wonder why a smarty pants like Mr. Tumblr Messiah would need the hype surrounding him if he’s so damn smart and I’ve concluded that he’s after one, if not both of two things:
Why do I care? I don’t, really. But, I can’t help but feel conned reading his posts and seeing traces of his shitty ego plastered all over it. Unfollow? I already did.
Consequently, I decided to ask myself why I have a tumblr and why I remain anonymous. Aside from the three followers who know me in real-time, none of my readership has any clue as to who I am or what I look like. I use this space for artistic catharsis, escapism, and general time wasting when expressing myself creatively/intelligently is temporarily unavailable offline. I’m not boasting egoless superiority but I like the idea of art for art’s sake. I should be able to creatively barf in a space when I need to evacuate inspired contents without seeking audience approval. Why don’t I get a diary if I’m so cool for not being an attention whore? Because I’m too lazy to drag my fat hand across diary sheets and I enjoy the benefits of digitally quilting multimedia into a chronicle where I am the author.
What it boils down to is that I’m here minus the fame and money because I have nothing else better to do and I like being able to store private moments of mind activity. My tumblr blog is my dark, often sad, often philosophical, but mostly cerebral playground that I don’t have to cement a huge sign with my name in it.
So, to all you online prophets ruling your own little virtual harems while silently hoping some corporate entity gives you money for your “individuality”, keep it up. It’s your freedom to take advantage of the free press but while you’re basking in your glow, ask yourself who you are in real-time and challenge yourself to interact with the “idiots” next to you. I bet they’re happier and much more confident than you are as you sit behind a screen wondering why your offline persona can’t match up with the charisma of those you sneer.